Those Annoying People

‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’ Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

The greatest commandment given by Jesus can be summed up neatly in the paraphrased words, “Love God, Love Others” but that is easier said than done, and we all know that truth. This begs the question: Who are those ‘other neighbours’? It is easy to love those who love us back. You could even say it is easy to love those we don’t even know, like the starving and abused of the world.

It is another matter entirely to love those who hate you. In our modern social media age we can become the subject of deliberate hate mail, and since we are told to love others by Jesus, we must comply. This can be made easier because the people who hate us, are unknown to us too! These haters are sitting behind a keyboard, so we are let off the hook again. We don’t have to prove our love then, do we?

Ah, but what about the really tough ones? Like that coworker or friend we know so well, and they always rub you up the wrong way and have an opinion which is always right, on everything? They will contradict you and always seem to know everything better that you, and not only that, they will quote chapter and verse for anything and everything straight out of the Bible and the top of their head. They can be confrontational, unreasonable, and irritating. Get the picture? What is the commandment, straight from our Lord, Master, and Saviour? Yes, love them.

I suggest that this last type of ‘others’ is the toughest category to love, even more than your worst enemy, and the reason is obvious. They are always right there in front of you to be confronted and challenged, so cannot be ignored. Love and grace are inextricably linked, and seen best in the life of Jesus, so in these and every case, we must show grace, that same love and grace of God which transcends any negative action of the irritating, unlovely and unloving.

Reflection?

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. Ephesians 5:11-12 NIV

It’s all around us, in our neighbourhoods, communities, and countries. I sometimes wonder if it’s the same in every nation around the world. Have some escaped? The trouble is this: the appearance of this particular ‘reflection’ is everywhere, but rarely seen by our own eyes, and seldom if ever in our families or circle of close friends.

Lurking behind all these closed doors must live a number of horrible people. They yell at everyone in the family group, use profane language, swear openly and often, have affairs, live an adulterous life, be secretive to their spouse, abuse their own children, lash out causing severe physical harm which sometimes needs hospital care, and even to the point of murder. Did you know about this? When you see and meet your neighbours, do you ever wonder what goes on behind their closed doors. Are they all safe, or in some kind of danger?

All of these terrible practices go on week in, week out on the movie screens and they don’t always carry a warning. When any question is raised with the movie industry, we are told they are only reflecting society. They don’t make society what it is. Really? Do you believe that explanation? At least you can avoid the cinema, and choose wisely and carefully those things you and your family watch. But what about the TV in the corner of your room? Let’s be honest, every soap and reality show depends on screening any or all of these salacious activities. It is not even safe to watch the trailers for some programs which will appear at any time of the day, interrupting a program which is safe!

What should we do when faced with these evil lifestyles on our TV? They have no place in our homes or lives, but we make excuses for them in the interests of the wider storyline. When we have a believing heart, and an open faith, we must “have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness done by the ungodly, as the Bible says:

For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. Romans 10:10 NLT

Influence

‘You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. Matthew 5:13 NIV

The South of Ireland held their referendum on abortion, and in a shock to many on either side of the argument, the swing to allowing abortion in many situations was agreed. The vote was 65:35 in favour of relaxing the current legislation. The real shock was the size of the majority.

Two comments struck me as I watched the aftermath unfold, and both were sadly accurate. One commenter said, “Just because the majority voted for it, doesn’t make it right”. In a democracy that can be shown to be true in many societies. The second opinion was this: “The influence of the church has been largely dismissed as a result of the recent child abuse scandals involving the priests and the associated cover up. How can the ordinary person believe what they say now on anything?”.

The ordinary Christian in the pew has a responsibility to be a witness to the Jesus they profess, but a much greater burden of responsibility lies with the leaders in all and any church of all and any denomination. The thought and fear expressed in the wake of the referendum result is this: Would the outcome have been different if the church had spoken its advice in truth, purity, sincerity and the integrity they always claimed? In this case, the change could have been massive and an opportunity was lost.

To a smaller degree, our church of members and leaders should be aware of the impact on other people’s lives if we are seen as hypocrites, or at best a poor reflection of the Saviour we claim. When we lose our ‘shine’ we automatically lose the witness that should and could attract the unbeliever to become a believer. Perhaps not on a massive scale as shown by the recent Irish referendum, but certainly on that friend or family member you would love to see become a believer, and even more so because your life and lifestyle made the difference. In the words of the old saying, “The kingdom was lost for want of a nail.” Let’s make sure our influence is not dismissed. Think what you like, people do notice.

Pain

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 NIV

Pain is something we all suffer at some point in our life, and some folks carry a much heavier burden and weight of hurt than others. It can feel unfair at times, because we see bad things happen to good people, and health pain being suffered by folks who could well do without it. There seems to be a very unbalanced distribution of who gets a painful medical condition and if was up to us, we would choose differently. Physical pain is hard to bear and usually visible. Many times it just can’t be hidden.

However, I would suggest that even harder to bear is heart or emotional pain. It’s not so visible, but can still hurt deep down where it lies hidden from view, at least from prying, public gaze, and those nosey ones who would love to know what went on in your life to cause it. So, what emotional pains do you and I carry? Could it be the hurt of a lost first love? The loss of a spouse? Infidelity? Not speaking out in defence of a loved one when you should have, and it cost you dearly? Squandering or gambling money away that your family desperately needed? Speaking out of turn when you should have kept your mouth tight shut? Harming a child in some way, and still feeling the shame years later? The list goes on.

When we feel any kind of pain, it is certain that God is near. In the heat of the moment you may not feel that way, but this will be confirmed for you in a little while, and in the testimony of others who have recognised God’s presence and taken His help. After all, we have the assurance from our great God that because you are a Christian you will not avoid pain, but when God walks that painful path with us, it is much easier to handle. Why? Because “God is faithful.”

No testing has overtaken you except ordinary testing. But God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tested beyond your ability, but when he tests you, he will also bring about the outcome that you are able to bear it. 1 Cor 10:13

The Fence

Never envy evil people, but always respect the Lord. Proverbs 23:17 ERV

But test everything. Keep what is good. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 ERV

There are times in our life when the other side of the fence seems to look better, and the grass is greener, right? I suppose it is normal, after all we are only human. That fence could be the barrier between us and something that’s not good for us. The grass may not really be that green when we get there. Truth is, we will almost always be disillusioned and disappointed in jumping that tempting fence.

What would the fence be to you? The temptation of your first alcoholic drink? Or maybe a ‘recreational drug’ to loosen you up at a party? Or smoking some weed? Or the neighbour’s wife or husband? Or maybe the work colleague that you spend as much time with as your spouse? Or to be more like your pals, going where they go and doing as they do? Sadly, it might also be that other church or pastor/preacher that seems to be more appealing. The fence is there for good reason, and we need to recognise this and treat it like the adults we are.

Here’s another home truth. Once you have jumped the fence and tasted the new, perhaps forbidden fruit, you cannot undo the jump you made, or pretend you didn’t do it when you realise that giving in to the temptation was so wrong for you. Might be a good idea to think  about the others who would be affected by your actions, perhaps with a resulting loss of respect, or even their love. It could also apply to parents, a spouse, children, friends, and even those you know nothing of, who may be looking on from a safe distance. Every action has a reaction, and a consequence for either good or bad, and not always thought through in the heat of the moment. That is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. As Solomon said, “Never envy evil people, but always respect the Lord.” Always!

…and nothing but the truth…

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 ESV

When you take an oath to tell the truth in a court of law, you don’t get to pick and choose which parts of the story you tell. It’s not just the truth that’s needed, it’s the WHOLE truth and ONLY the truth. The oath used by most courts says: “I promise to tell the TRUTH, the WHOLE TRUTH, and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.” But why is this oath so tightly worded?

When we are faced with a situation that might put us in a bad light, or show us up in the eyes of family and friends, we choose the easy way of telling only a part of the story, and it may well be true. That also goes as we recount and retell someone else’s account of events, and perhaps even more so.  Telling the whole story can be a hazard to our perceived integrity and reputation, so we speak the parts that only go our way, and leave out the damaging parts. You become very vulnerable when you decide to tell the whole truth, and our human nature doesn’t like it when our pride takes a hit.

When Scripture says the heart is deceitful and sick, it does not overstate or sugar coat the problem. In truth, if we look at our own lives, we don’t always tell the whole truth, and we take the chance no one will notice so that we get away with it, again especially as we retell someone else’s story. And anyway we think, the other person who has a different view, is doing the same thing, so we are equal. Yes, we have hearts that are desperately wicked.

We all know that someone who will only answer the part of the question you put to them, and they hold back the rest. The result is that you must ask the correct questions to get closer to the truth, assuming that you do eventually believe you got the full story. How do I know this? Firstly, the Bible tells me, and secondly, I do recognise that heart and at times, it is mine. Sadly, I can get away with only telling a part of the whole truth that I know, and only seldom get caught out. What about you? Are you open and honest enough, when faced with a real question, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Tough ask, isn’t it? So who is the only one who can be trusted with the whole truth? We must leave that answer in the words of the next verse and be open to the Lord’s searching and testing.

“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:10 ESV

The Moaners

To all who mourn in Israel he will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness. For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. Isaiah 61:3 TLB

Now and again I come across a moaning Christian. Hold on there, that’s not right. The words ‘moaning’ and ‘Christian’ don’t go together and shouldn’t be used in the same phrase. It’s an oxymoron to give it the correct title. But there you have it. Sadly, it’s usually older folks who have been on the way for a while, but somewhere they seem to have lost their joy.

These are invisible Christians, at least to themselves. They are oblivious to their sad condition which everyone else can so easily see, but who will tell them? I won’t or can’t  because I respect them and their life lived for Christ. Also because there may be an underlying, and as yet undiagnosed medical condition which we know nothing of…. yet. So tread carefully and resist the temptation to fire a broadside that you may later regret. True joy goes much deeper than the facial muscles and the occasional gripe, and that same joy is their, and your, strength.

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10 NLT

That’s Grace

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:18-19 NIV

The Word of God, speaks directly to us just when we need it. The Bible is called “The Word of God” for good reason. It speaks straight into our heart and life without cutting corners, and this is such an occasion.

It’s not a case of ‘if we stumble’, but ‘when’. The worst kinds of stumbles are those little ones that surprise us and come out of the blue, at least that’s the way it is for me. It is possible that few, if any, will have been noticed but that’s not the point is it? We could kick ourselves by entertaining those thoughts, or saying those little words that offended. Especially a little one or someone young in the faith or searching for the truth.

God’s grace is there for us all in the big mistakes of life, and those little ones too, but first we need to ask, and then to know that they are pardoned, and I love this part, “He will….hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.”. Indeed, as the verse starts, “who is a God like you?” Thank you, Lord.

Saying, Doing, or Feeling?

The old saying attributed to Maya Angelou goes: ‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’ It’s not from the Bible, but carries a lot of weight in our personal walk of faith. Are you a talker, a doer or someone that people like to be around because you have a warmth and believable integrity?

The world in all aspects has those who say and do things (sometimes), and then there are the true friends. Trusted friends. People you are naturally attracted to be beside in some way or another. The Bible has its own way of saying this in: John 13:34-35 (NLT) So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

If you have ever been in love, and perhaps still are after many years, you will know that love is essentially a feeling. It is not what you say and do that matters most, but the lingering scent when all is said and done, that your love is convincing and real and true. We all know those who talk a good game, but are found wanting when it matters most. All the loud bluster in the world will not and cannot hold a candle to the force of someone who makes you feel loved. Another old saying is, “Empty vessels make the most noise.” Do you recognise the truth of these words? Do they remind you of anyone?

Why am I saying this? Simply because as Christians we have a responsibility to be Christ-like, or look like Christ to our family and friends. Who do you think has the better witness to the unchurched, unsaved, and those who just need to be convinced by the truth of a life lived in love, just like Jesus? The shouter? The one pointing to their own goodness and Bible knowledge? Or simply the one who embodies the Christ-life, and shows love in the Spirit of Jesus? The good news is that we all have the gift of love, so let’s decide to use it to full effect so that others will see Christ in us!

What Makes The Difference?

There was a sinful woman in that town. She knew that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So the woman brought some expensive perfume in an alabaster jar. She stood at Jesus’ feet, crying. Then she began to wash his feet with her tears. She dried his feet with her hair. She kissed his feet many times and rubbed them with the perfume. I tell you that her many sins are forgiven. This is clear, because she showed great love. People who are forgiven only a little will love only a little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Luke 7:37-38, 47-48 ERV

Have you ever asked yourself what the big deal is about being a Christian? What difference does it make? And perhaps more important is the question, “What changes do others see in me?” Do they see me as approachable, loving, or forgiving? Let’s be honest, in this world many people desperately need the assurance of love and forgiveness.

The woman in this passage is a good example of the overwhelming love of God, and His total forgiveness. In a relatively short period of time she goes from being a social outcast, to being loved, forgiven, and a child of the Kingdom. What happened? The short answer is that she opened her heart in love to the Saviour, and forgiveness naturally followed.

Who do you and I need to forgive? Or let me put it another way,  who is there that might need forgiveness FROM us? Can you think of someone who needs our love and assurance, or are we so ‘good’ that there is no one in that category? Think again. The chances are that we may have dismissed some needy person from our life, and that person is desperate for our forgiveness. How about the ones whom we avoid, or move away from because of their bad history just like the sinner in Luke’s account? The others round the table didn’t think her past lifestyle deserved that second chance, but thankfully Jesus did.

For me, the key lies in the words near the end of the verse:  “People who are forgiven only a little will love only a little.” Your ability to love is directly linked to your capacity to forgive. So that person we have decided can’t be forgiven has cost us our love. Can we be happy with that? A better question would be: Is Jesus happy with us being like that?